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scariously

by Benjamin

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    All acoustic songs, made with 100% clever-kindness.
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1.
Simple Things (free) 01:41
Simple Things Keep your shoes on, Keep your pants up, Keep your shirt down (clap, clap, clap clap) Keep your fingers where I can see them And don't ask me to smell them And if you suck a toy I have to take it away And if you're loud at nap You keep your friends awake These things are common sense Like One, Two, Three Like left and right, like A-B-C Don't interrupt me when I'm talking And look at where you're walking Stand still in line And wait your turn Keep you hands off the stove Cause they will burn Put away what you get out And inside don't speak so loud Keep your bottom on your chair while you eat your food Ask me nice for milk, cause yelling's rude These things are common sense Like One, Two, Three Like left and right, like A-B-C Like hands are not for fighting And bottoms are for biting Like use your words And not your whine Like sharing toys What's yours is mine Keep the potty talk in the bathroom And do you give up too soon Cause if you work real hard And you concentrate Little by little, you can do something great Cause the greatest things Like One, Two, Three Like left and right, like A-B-C They all start as small as a mustard seed But they can grow as big as the universe you see (alt. ending: And if you do em well And make em a part Of the way you live, Then you can start To go on to bigger things Like two wheel bikes And model trains And mountain hikes And on and on There's just no end Of the things you can do Cause you're a human!
2.
I Woke Up 02:50
I woke up I woke up, had breakfast Gave my mom a little kiss Went outside, got on my bike Up and down the street I ride Up and down the street I ride Later on I met my friends Right about where my street ends All together we went to the creek Where we heard the crawdad speak Where we heard the crawdad speak In the sand by the water My best friend found a treasure He told me I should keep it I put it in my pocket I put it in my pocket After that I climbed a tree Hid myself in the blue leaves Watched the runners on the path Smelled how much I need a bath Smelled how much I need a bath In the tree I hummed a tune About the Sun goin down and the brand-new Moon I dozed off, I fell down Lost the treasure my friend found Lost the treasure my friend found
3.
Accident Prone When I tried to turn I ran into a cone And that's why they call me accident prone After that I stubbed my toe on a stone And that's why they call me accident prone Accident prone, accident prone It's easy to be wheezy when you're accident prone I fall down the stairs when I leave my home And that's why they call me accident prone And when I went skiing I broke a couple bones And that's why they call me accident prone Accident prone, accident prone It's easy to get bloody when you're accident prone When I was dancing I tripped over Jerome And that's why they call me accident prone And when I called the doctor I smashed the phone And that's why they call me accident prone Accident prone, accident prone It's easy to be clumsy when you're accident prone When I mowed the lawn I ran over the gnome And that's why they call me accident prone When I am around there ain't no safety zone And that's why they call me accident prone Accident prone, accident prone It's easy to be silly when you're accident prone I forgot about the toaster and burnt your scone And that's why they call me accident prone Just seeing my reflection makes me want to groan And that's why they call me accident prone Accident prone, accident prone It's hard to boring when you're accident prone
4.
Up the Mountain We went up the mountain Looking for a fountain Found a volcano Cooked a potato You asked me for a soda I told you where to go-ah Check the other mountain There's gotta be a fountain So we went up that mountain Looking for a fountain You found a river Filled with gold and silver I called up the miner But he was at the diner On the other mountain Where there has to be a fountain So we went up that mountain Looking for a fountain Rather found a cabin Where the stream was babblin’ Tried to stay through Thursday But we got to thirstaaay So we went down the mountain Hoping to find a fountain We went down the mountain Where we found a fountain It was in the valley Where the good ole' Sally Drove us through the city To the lithium spring It was such a tasty fountain That had traveled down the mountain It had traveled down the mountain It was such a tasty fountain
5.
6.
Try 03:11
Try why do you dance hands on your pants won't you go pee? I know that the toys girls and the boys make you busy all and though I wont make you go before you're sorry I suggest that you try on with your shoes if you refuse then please sit down I know you aint fond of keepin em on and reasons abound for takin them off along with your sock but if you're gonna runna-bout then what you need to do is try stop makin faces pick up your laces if you need to go, go no matter how you cry if you never try fact is, you'll never know I like lamb don't like yams not everyone's the same some eat fire others in China dine on monkey brains though you may escape some that's on your plate none of it's that strange all I ask is that you try stop makin faces pick up your laces if you need to go, go no matter how you cry if you never try fact is, you'll never know Off the bike you fall crashin into walls it's hard at first to turn you gotta go again balance and rhythm are whatcha need to learn and before you know you'll be up & go but to starts it's crash & burn you need to try and try and try stop makin faces pick up your laces if you need to go, go no matter how you cry if you never try fact is, you'll never know somethings are hard other things by far are a pain to do but responsibility's the key to being free if you don't know, how can you choose?
7.
Farm Stand Stan Farm Stand Stan, Farm Stand Stan He went to the market to sell his jam And when he got there he saw his stand Was occupied by his brother Farm Stan Sam Farm Stand Sam, Farm Stand Sam He went to the market to sell his lamb And when he got there he saw his stand Was occupied by his sister Farm Stand Fran Farm Stand Fran, Farm Stand Fran She went to the market to sell her flan And when she got there she saw her stand Was occupied by her brother Farm Stand Dan Farm Stand Dan, Farm Stand Dan He went to the market to sell his ham And when he got there he saw his stand Was occupied by his sister Farm Stand Pam Farm Stand Pam, Farm Stand Pam She woke up early to open up the stand And when she was done she washed her hands And had a cup of coffee while she waited for her fam
8.
Wishlist 02:20
wishlist I want some fancy fries Chocolate milk and a prize A pterodactyl of a medium size And peanut butter shoes I want a rocket pack And another for my best friend Jack And something for the panic attacks But most of all I want you I want a sweater vest A Teddy bear and a treasure chest Two pears and a priest to bless My brand new yogurt pool I want hawaian pants Lucky dice and a game of chance A checkered taxi to the costume dance But most of all I want you I want a new video game A glockenspiel and a trebuchet A pickled nickle in a seven layer cake And a juggling caraboo [ I want more oranges too String cheese and a pink canoe A mason jar of atomic goop But most of all I want you [...?] I want warm slippers please Wool socks up to my knees A couple tissues cause I need to sneeze And hot soup for my fl—Aah-CHOO! I want some caramel corn A plastic jacket for the thunder storm And a kiss cause I feel forlorn Cause most of all I want you
9.
Accident I have had an accident Which is why I have been sent To the bathroom with fresh clothes Why this happens no one knows First I take off socks and shoes Then my pants I take off too Followed by my underoos Which this morning I did choose When spiderman has hit the floor Then I must check if there's more In my body to come out Aren't you glad I do not pout? After I've pushed for some time Then I wipe up what is mine And I do a little dance As I put on my fresh pants In a plastic bag they go Everyone of my dirty clothes Then I really wash my hands Just like mom and dad demand There you go, that is my song I sure hope I didn't get much wrong Yes, of course the toilet's flushed Do you think it's time for lunch?
10.
Boat Show 02:31
The Boat Show The boat show, the boat show The Steamboat Island Boat Show You can come along and help me row From Greater Seattle past Tacoma dome To the boat show, the boat show The Steamboat Island boat Show I've been waiting oh so long you know To break out the yacht and down the Sound float And if you and me keel into the sea I'm sure there'll be a rescue team To fish us out and our clothes wring And hang them to dry on the starboard string Then we'll get a blanket and lay in the sun Shining for a few minutes—or maybe just one But I'll drink a pop and you'll smack your gum And we'll feed a seagull half a hot dog bun At the boat show, the boat show The Steamboat Island boat Show Ain't it funny how every single year it grows Someday you know there'll have to be a million boats And when it's night and the city glows And we're wrapped up tight from our neck to our toes We'll drift on a skiff where the current flows And talk about the sights and the sounds and the boats At the boat show, the boat show The Steamboat Island boat Show Can't wait until next year's big show You can help me build a big old boat With sails and a rudder and tinted windows And a kitchen with an oven and a toaster and a stove And we'll sail the thing past the mountains of the coast To a little desert island that nobody knows ... From the boat show, the boat show The Steamboat Island boat Show Ain't it funny how certain songs stick in your head From early in the mornin til you crash into bed...
11.
QQ more (Crying Song) Would you like to cry right now I will even show you how Make your face into a pout And whaa, whaa, whaa Did you not get what you want? Yogurt 'stead of apple sauce Now you're in a big old fuss Oh whaa, whaa, whaa [CHORUS:] Sometimes when we're hurt we cry Sometimes it feels good to whine Just don't do this all the time Whaa, whaa, whaa How did you get that owie? Did you fall and scrape your knee Climbing up the apple tree Oh whaa, whaa, whaa On your bike did you fall off Riding down the sidewalk It's okay if you can't talk Just whaa, whaa, whaa [CHORUS] When your mama left you hear Did you scream and shed a tear? (Just not so loud, you’re hurting my ear) Whaa, whaa, whaa Did you not get enough sleep? Now you’re feeling so crabby Well if you weren’t a kid, I’d give you caffine So whaa, whaa, whaa [CHORUS] Did that movie frighten you Now you're havin a boo-hoo-hoo Its okay I'm kinda scared too Oh whaa, whaa, whaa Did you cry when you heard that song? Believe me darlin there ain't nothin' wrong With bawlin' out your heart just to prove it's strong Oh whaa, whaa, whaa
12.
Pilly Belly 01:52
Pilly Belly She's got a pilly belly, A grubby cubby A pretty smelly, Muddy buddy They eat red jelly Until they're chubby Then they go outside a run it off And if it's Tuesday They watch a movie And if it’s Wednesday They call up Lindsey She brings them soufflé And they get goofy Til the neighbors go and call the cops But whatcha don't know In San Diego She's got a cousin Who sells his muffins Out on the freeway Where it's real smoggy And she visits him as much as she can And if it's too hot Then they go swimmin & he gets distracted By all the women But she don't get Too offended Cause sometimes a man is just a man But what a girl wants (be)sides being pretty Or educated Or even goofy Is a best friend To go with to sushi And to talk about what happened that day All of the trouble And the drama The discombobu- -lated sambas A girl gets into Even if she don't wanna Which is why she has so much to say!
13.
Temper! 03:11
14.
Sail With Me (free) 03:13
Sail With Me Would you like to sail with me Together we will cross the sea And if we find a great white shark We'll chase him all across the dark And if he leads us to a park We'll ask our dog to please not bark Would you like to sail with me Together we will cross the sea And if we find a manta ray We'll ask him for the time of day And if it's after twelve thirty We'll invite him to a cup of tea Would you like to sail with me Together we will cross the sea And if we find a blue dolphin We'll use our ship to follow him Wherever hot or cold he swims From tropic to arctic ocean Would you like to sail with me Together we will cross the sea And if we find a green tortoise We'll ask him to please follow us From brightest day to dimmest dusk And feed him carrots if we must Would you like to sail with me Together we will cross the sea And if we find a killer whale We'll ask him to fill up our sails With one great swipe of his black tail And then we'll open up our mail Would you like to sail with me Together we will cross the sea And if we find our way back home We'll give our dog a juicy bone And call our mother on the phone And tell her where we both did roam
15.
Attitude 00:52
Attitude Attitude, Attitude It makes me nice, it makes me rude Mostly I can't control my moods So what am I to do about my attitude Attitude, attitude Can I change it like I change my shoes Should I have a cookie or do I need a snooze Or maybe you can make me some feel good food Attitude, attitude My mind's agitated and my heart feels blue I got a case of nerves like I can't tell you But I'll do what I can do about my attitude [...] Gooditude, Baditude Optimistic, pessimistic—whatever, dude Is your cup half empty, is you cup half filled Well doesn't that depend upon the price of refills?
16.
Penguin Song 02:47
Penguin Song Penguin went to school, to school Penguin went to school Elephant gave him a ride til he fell in the pool (SPLASH!) Penguin went to the store, to the store Penguin went to the store Elephant gave him a ride til he ran through the door (CRASH!) So Penguin went to the fair, to the fair Penguin went to the fair Elephant gave him a ride til he fell down the stairs (bing-Bang-BOng-BOOM!) So Penguin went to jail, to jail Penguin went to jail! Elephant gave him a ride til he stepped on a nail (YEEOUCH!) Penguin went to class, to class Penguin went to class Elephant gave him a ride til he fell on his... grass! (what?) Penguin went to the sun, to the sun Penguin went to the sun Elephant gave him a ride til he burnt both his buns (oh... I get it!) Penguin went back home, back home Penguin went back home Elephant woulda gave him a ride... but he had broke all his bones!
17.
Baby with a phone Baby with a phone She should call her mama now But here mom's not home Mama went to milk the cow So baby calls her dad Daddy asks her "How are you?" "Dad I'm feeling sad!" "Baby, tell me why you're blue." Says baby to the phone: "Daddy I miss you and mom When will you be home?" "Baby we will not be long." "Okay daddy, bye." "Bye-bye baby I love you." "Daddy so do I." Both hang up as they bid adieu Baby with a phone!
18.
Macaroni & Cheese Pay attention to: me Put your arm in your sleeve Use your elbow to sneeze Remember thank you and please Pay attention to me (one, two!) Macaroni and Cheese!!! Every dog has a flea Every squirrel has a tree Every man's a monkey And every woman's a dream Pay attention to me (one, two!) Macaroni and Cheese!!! Don't fear the bumbly bee You know that all he can see Is the pollen he seeks In the flowerin' trees Pay att to me Don't give the baby the keys She'll only chew them like peas Then they'll be all sticky And we will catch her disease Pay attention to me (one, two!) Macaroni and Cheese!!! Pay attention to me Cause I'm feelin fussy And the one thing I need Is for you to give me a squeeze Pay attention to me (one, two!) Macaroni and Cheese!!!

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My first array of playground inspired tunes. Enjoy and share!

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released April 1, 2010

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